I don’t know what’s happening in the world right now, but apparently we’ve reached a point where grown men — fully bearded, gym-membership-having, oat-latte-drinking men — are walking around the streets of New York and Paris dressed like they’re about to hand out soup in a Russian village circa 1943.

Yes. The Babushka Bandana.

We’ve seen questionable fashion trends before — skinny jeans so tight they cut off circulation, crocs making a comeback, dudes wearing pearl necklaces like they’re auditioning for a reboot of Downton Abbey: Brooklyn Edition — but this one? This one feels like the final boss of fashion absurdity.

Let me paint the picture.

You’re in SoHo. The air smells like $9 coffee and broken dreams. A Tesla hums past. And suddenly… there he is.

A man with a babushka tied under his chin. Silk scarf. Bold pattern. Maybe floral. Maybe paisley. Maybe it’s his grandmother’s curtain, who knows.

He’s strutting like it’s the Met Gala, but bro — you look like you’re about to sell pickles out of a jar behind a farmhouse. The kind of look that says, “I just churned butter, but make it fashion.”

You can’t tell if he’s late for a runway show or early for bingo night.

The Paris edition.

Over in France, it’s even worse — they’re calling it le look retro-chic. Which translates to: “We took something ugly and made it expensive.”

Dudes in trench coats and babushkas sipping espresso, looking like undercover nuns on vacation. They’re acting like this is deep art — “non, non, it is zee cultural commentary!” No, it’s not cultural commentary, it’s confusion with confidence.

Fashion has gone so far left it looped around and stole grandma’s laundry basket.

The psychology behind it (a.k.a. excuses)

• “It’s gender fluid.” Sure, but it’s also sanity fluid.

• “It’s vintage!” Yeah, so are dentures.

• “It’s ironic!” That’s what every bad idea says before it ruins your dignity.

"These are the same guys who think smoking cloves in a linen shirt makes them “European.” No, my friend, it just makes you smell like a thrift store that serves wine."

The airport test

Here’s how you know it’s gone too far:

If you walk through TSA with a babushka tied under your chin, they should automatically pull you aside and ask, “Sir… are you in disguise? Are you fleeing a bakery heist?”

Like bro, we get it — you’re bold. You’re confident. But you also look like you’re hiding the recipe for pierogis in that scarf.

Imagine the first guy to do it

He probably thought, “This is gonna be iconic.”
No, dude. It’s gonna be ironic.

He tied that scarf, looked in the mirror, and said, “I look mysterious.” Meanwhile, the mirror whispered back, “You look like you just lost your luggage in Warsaw.”

What happens next

At this rate, next season’s runway will feature men in aprons, clutching rolling pins, whispering: “It’s a metaphor for domestic struggle.”

Some influencer’s gonna call it “cottagecore masculinity” and sell it for $600 a piece. And some other dude will buy it because it makes him feel like he listens to vinyl and “understands women.”

Bro, you don’t understand women — you borrowed their scarf.

The final word

If you’re out here rocking a babushka bandana — good for you. You’re brave. You’re fearless. You’re one strong gust of wind away from an identity crisis.

But please, for the love of fashion and human dignity… don’t call it style. Call it what it is:
A hostage situation between your ego and your grandmother’s linen drawer.

Fashion has gone so far left it looped around and stole grandma’s laundry basket.